Synonyms for grand finale…big finish…wrap up, summit, pinnacle. Well, this is where we are. I began my card making blog 3 years ago. It was fun at first with lots of experimenting and artistic expression. I spend way too much time with it, devouring every challenge and becoming excited learning about this community. Somewhere along the way it changed. The joy of the post was lost in the low of the “other” things that come with it. Trying to keep myself happy and keep the viewer happy became hard. I doubted myself and what I thought was a fabulous design. I spent hours trying to make each card interesting. Sometimes it was a knock out and sometimes a flop and I could never judge which was which. There was the roller coaster feeling of blog followers. Up one down 2, up 4 down 1. I still haven't figured it out. I must have a polarizing design aesthetic, I am not sure. I tried to stop being so attached to the numbers...the comment numbers, the followers, the blog hits. It was difficult. That aspect of it, the competitiveness and such, took some of the joy out of it. In my heart, despite the few negatives, I loved it. I mean, really, really loved making a card. That little canvas and all it's possibilities was amazing. Seeing what other people created was amazing. Winning challenges, getting on design teams, having people visit my little blog...all amazing.
During my journey, I met the greatest people I have ever known in kindness and encouragement. Real friends to me and generous beyond measure. My love for the craft kept me going and I learned that my designs were not for everyone and that was ok. My blog made me happy with stories and other topics that interested me. I became part of design teams of my dreams and reached great personal heights here with my out of the box designs which validated who I was as a designer. I was hitting my stride being known as a person who created fresh and edgy work. Unfortunately, it came at sacrifice to other things, but I didn’t see it. I wanted to make cards and it’s what I became known for, to the blog world and to my family. It was my hobby and where I sought calm, happiness, and peace. My craft supplies grew exponentially and my craft space was a place I could unwind.
Then there was a hiccup…I moved back home to be closer to extended family in April of 2014. I took a more demanding job that I LOVE, but work more than I have since becoming a mom of four 11 years ago. I moved into a bigger home which requires more time to maintain. I began to cook more and eat more! And in the process gained 20 pounds from all the stress. My kids began school and activities and well, life got busy. There was a struggle to keep going within my heart. I kept thinking it will get better, after all, I love to create.
But I can’t keep up anymore. I want to visit blogs and see what people are creating. I want to participate in the community which has been so good to me. I struggle to keep my hold on what I worked so hard to achieve. I miss my blog reader. The days are flying by and I just feel more and more behind. Many times I think, I will forget all the posts I missed and start anew, but my organized brain doesnt work that way. In the same way that I can't highlight a book in orange if I started highlighting in yellow, I can't forget all the posts I missed.
So here I am, writing this post to tell you I made a Wida card for Hero Arts…hopefully you will see the fresh design and edgy look that I adore when you check it out. Layers and patterns and Hero Arts goodness with melted distress inks mixed together with a baby wipe! An experiment in creativity that was a success!
It is with heavy heart I announce this is my last post for Hero Arts and for my personal blog as well.
I need to walk away for a 1000 reasons. I won’t bore you with any more details. But know it comes with great pain and sorrow, as well as some relief. I hope to still create, just not on a public platform, but quietly and will less intensity than I had before. Thank you Hero Arts, and to all the other design teams I have been on for making me feel like my out of the box ways was worthy and thanks to you all for the friendships and visits to my little place of happy.